Freedom from Anxiety
"The world is perfect; there is no anxiety in it..........anyplace.
There are only people thinking anxiously.
Anxiety is a way of thinking. To be free from anxiety we have to change our way of thinking. Inner serenity is what we must try to achieve.
The Japanese call this experience Shubimi. This state of serenity if ever experienced by an individual is very unique.
How does one achieve this kind of inner perfection ? By enjoying each moment of life as a miracle and making peace with oneself.
Inner perfection has to be recaptured.
Young and unspoiled children are the nearest form of inner perfection. They do not analyze life, they do not worry about it.
They simply Live Life - free from anxiety and worries about the future. This is the state of mind even we had as a child and this is the state we have to try and recapture.
Since inner contentment already exists within us, it only needs to be nurtured in order to continue for a lifetime.
The way you relate to your children is a major factor to help cultivate this habit since non anxious children grow up to be non anxious adults.
Let us take a look at some of the typical anxiety producing behaviours that we as parents reinforce and provide our children thereby encouraging them to choose anxiety as a lifestyle.
How many of these areas do you identify with ?
- You live a pressure-filled, non-relaxing lifestyle, hurrying through everything. You put unrealistic demands on your children, expecting excellence in every area.
- You ridicule meditation, yoga and relaxation.
- You constantly interfere in your children's lives and monitor everything they do.
- You constantly refer to their past mistakes.
- You feel depressed when children prefer their friends' company to yours.
- You teach your children to worry - "You better start worrying about your exams-they're just round the corner".
- You set unrealistic standards and goals for your children.
- Punish children without explaining why they are being punished.
- You tend to complain constantly about life in front of your children.
- You make money and acquisitions the most important things in life.
Well, these are only some of the anxiety-provoking ways in which adults interact with children. These children very soon start behaving in anxious ways. Thinking negatively, getting into bouts of depression and showing signs of poor physical health are some of the anxiety induced behavioural symptoms. Pay heed to these warning signals and take constructive steps to ensure that children can swim through life and actually enjoy it.
Some strategies that can be followed to deal with anxiety-ridden children are suggested here with the belief that everyone is entitled to feel happy and peaceful from within.
- Do stop trying to be the perfect mother, father, wife, homemaker, teacher etc.
- Do the things that you do because you choose to do them and not because you will be seen as perfect.
- Eliminate self-defeating thoughts from the minds of your children.
- Allow children to develop at their own pace. Let them enjoy their young years. Be with them rather than at them all the time.
- Live each day at a time and develop an atmosphere of peace.
- If you are the short-tempered type try and work at changing it. Try postponing an outburst for a few minutes.
- each your children very early the joy of books. A child who loves books never feels bored. Children who grow up feeling bored think that others have a duty to keep them entertained. He expects action all the time. This then translates to anxiety about having to be alone.
- Help your child to focus on the pure enjoyment of singing rather than winning an award for the best singer. Try and remove the pressure of acquiring external rewards all the time.
- Teach children to become more confident in themselves. Allow them to speak their minds even if you don't like it.
- View each child as an individual. Allow your children to set their own goals. Act only as a positive source of encouragement.