Teachers' Day Special: 25 Things Teachers Say
Teachers seem to have memorized some kind of dialogue handbook, because almost EVERY teacher, be it someone from Kashmir or Kanyakumari, says these dialogues at least once, and almost EVERY student can identify with it! Here are 25 things every teacher says. followed by how we'd like to answer them, but don't!
Enjoy, and happy teachers' day to all the teachers who have helped shape and mould the minds of students, in creating leaders of tomorrow!
1. "Keep silence! The principal is taking her rounds and will pass away soon!"
Pass away? Really? That's some fatal round the principal is taking!
2. "Be quiet! Is this a fish market?"
This is what a fish market sounds like? Do you go to the fish market and say, "Be quiet! What is this, a classroom?" too?
3. "Okay children! Boys, to the left, girls to the right, everybody else in the centre!"
Umm, okay, what? Who?
4. "If you want to talk, please get out of the class and talk"
Gladly. Let's leave the classroom and talk outside, WITH PERMISSION!
5. "If you're not interested, then you may leave the class."
When was I ever interested? Chalo! What're we waiting for!
6. "Don't enter my class if you haven't done my homework."
Wow, teachers are really bent on making sure kids don't enter the classroom!
7. "Don't try to 'oversmart' me! Yes you! I'm talking to you only. Don't talk back me!"
You're talking to us, and you don't want us to talk back, and yet you want us to respond.. err, how?
8. "Are you here only to waste your parents' money?"
Trust me, we know a zillion other ways to waste parents' money than to spend it on school. So to answer the question, no, we're not here to waste parents' money.
9. "You! Stand up! Why are you laughing? Come to the front and tell us all. Let us also laugh!"
I'm not sure you'll want to know why we're laughing. It's probably best if we keep it to ourselves. Point understood.
10. "Do you think teachers are fools?"
Do you really expect us to answer that?
11. "Why do you come to school when you don't want to study"?
Why do you come to school when you don't want to teach?
Trust me, I'm enjoying it less than you!
12. "Previous batches were 100 times better than you."
That's just lovely. I'm really happy to hear that. Congratulations!
13. "Don't talk or else I will put absent mark!"
Right, so I sit through this class unwillingly, and you will still mark me absent? That doesn't sound fair!
14. "You, stand up on the bench!"
Really? Dead Poets Society style! Carpe diem!
15. "Why are you laughing? Do I look like a joker/clown to you?"
Is this a trick question? I think I'll pass on answering this. It doesn't sound safe!
16. "In my 10 years of teaching, I have never seen this type of class."
Well, I'm going to take it as a compliment, that I've exceeded your expectations in a way that you've never imagined it.
17. "Other sections and departments are better than you!
Really? Then why don't you go teach in them? I'm sure it'll work out better for the both of us.
18. "Sit properly. This is a classroom, not your living room!"
Trust me, this is not how I sit in my living room!
19. "Those who want to study, come forward and sit. The others can rest in the back provided you don't disturb the others."
I'll just head on back then.
20. "Stand in a straight circle!"
21. "Your juniors are better than you!"
This is soo great! Seniors and juniors who are better than us! You can't be more proud!
22. "Speak louder. Didn't you have breakfast?"
Yes, lack of food intake this morning, albeit the heavy dinner last night, has left me with the inability to speak loudly. Pardon me.
23. "What did you do the whole day? Why didn't you do your homework?"
Thank you for asking! So, I missed the school bus yesterday since I was playing football, and then I had to walk all the way home, and I was hungry and tired, so I stopped for lime soda and gol gappe. I didn't want to eat alone so I called Rishi to come and join, and then …..
Wait for it. I have a very good reason for why I didn't do it.
24. "If only you used your talents in studies also!"
Pretty sure I would not have been sitting here right now had I done that!
25. "Tell me when you all have finished talking."
Yep, will let you know!
Teachers, we love you, for all you do, especially tolerating us! :)